Staying on Fire Without Burning Out: What Yoga Can Teach Us About Success, Balance and the Nervous System
What happens when ambition, achievement and wellbeing meet? A recent conversation with Mike Soutar from BBC’s The Apprentice gave me the perfect opportunity to reflect on something that sits at the heart of both Serenity Studio and The Serenity Reset: how do we keep our passion for life without burning ourselves out in the process?
Sometimes a photograph captures far more than the moment itself.
Recently, I had the pleasure of meeting Mike Soutar, known to millions as one of Lord Sugar’s interviewers on BBC’s The Apprentice.
In the photograph we’re holding my two books, The Serenity Reset and The Serenity Kitchen – Nourishing the Nervous System, alongside the current edition of OM Magazine.
That in itself felt rather surreal, because I’m currently on the front cover of OM, with a three-page interview on pages 51–53 and a feature on The Serenity Reset on page 65.
But there was another connection that made the photograph particularly meaningful.
Mike has spent decades in the world of magazines, publishing, business and leadership. His career has included senior roles at some of Britain’s best-known magazines, including Smash Hits and FHM, before co-founding Shortlist Media.
Now, he is an author himself.
His book, Next Gen CEO: 60 Lessons for Leaders in an Uncertain World, explores the realities of modern leadership and includes an idea that immediately resonated with me:
How do we stay on fire without burning out?
That could almost be a Serenity Reset question.
When did exhaustion become a measure of success?
We live in a culture that often celebrates pushing through.
Work harder.
Do more.
Be productive.
Keep going.
Answer the email.
Look after everyone.
Exercise harder.
Sleep later.
Get up earlier.
And if you’re exhausted?
Have another coffee and carry on.
For a while, the human body can be remarkably accommodating.
But continually overriding its signals can come at a cost.
Stress isn’t inherently bad. Our stress response is an extraordinary survival mechanism designed to mobilise us when we need energy, focus and action.
The problem is when activation becomes our normal and genuine recovery becomes increasingly rare.
We can become so accustomed to rushing, worrying, achieving and anticipating the next demand that we barely recognise what relaxation feels like anymore.
This is something I understand personally.
My own experience of fibromyalgia, chronic pain, fatigue and burnout ultimately changed the entire direction of my life and became the foundation for what I now call The Serenity Reset.
I began to understand that recovery wasn’t simply about doing less.
It was about learning how to live differently.
What does yoga have to do with burnout?
Potentially, an enormous amount.
But perhaps not for the reason people expect.
When many people hear the word yoga, they imagine flexibility.
Leggings.
Downward-facing dogs.
Perhaps somebody effortlessly balancing on one hand while smiling serenely at the camera!
But the physical postures are only one part of yoga.
Yoga can also be about awareness.
Awareness of the breath.
Awareness of the body.
Awareness of our thoughts.
Awareness of our reactions.
And awareness of the difference between:
“This is challenging me”
and
“I am overriding myself.”
That distinction can become incredibly important when we are recovering from prolonged stress or burnout.
Svadhyaya: learning to study yourself
One of the yogic principles I particularly love is Svadhyaya, often translated as self-study.
Rather than moving through life entirely on autopilot, we begin to observe ourselves with curiosity.
What happens to my breathing when I’m stressed?
Do I clench my jaw?
Do my shoulders rise?
Do I rush even when there is no need to rush?
Do I automatically say yes when I want to say no?
Do I feel guilty when I rest?
Do I ignore hunger, tiredness or discomfort because there is always something else that “needs” doing?
Do I believe my worth is connected to how productive I have been today?
These questions matter.
Because before we can change a pattern, we generally need to become aware that the pattern exists.
And that is where yoga can move far beyond the mat.
Your nervous system doesn’t care about your to-do list
Our nervous system is continually gathering information.
It receives signals from our internal body, our environment, our relationships and our thoughts.
When threat is perceived, the body can mobilise.
Heart rate may change.
Muscles prepare for action.
Attention narrows.
Breathing patterns alter.
Stress hormones and neurotransmitters help prepare us to respond.
That is incredibly useful when we genuinely need it.
But modern “threats” aren’t always predators.
They can be deadlines.
Conflict.
Financial worry.
Notifications.
Caring responsibilities.
Poor sleep.
Overtraining.
Perfectionism.
Constant rushing.
Or simply the belief that we must keep going regardless of what our body is telling us.
The body still has to respond to the load.
This is one reason I talk so much about creating a felt sense of safety within The Serenity Reset.
It isn’t about convincing yourself that everything is wonderful.
It is about repeatedly giving the body opportunities to experience moments where it doesn’t need to fight, flee, fix, perform or achieve.
Sometimes strength means stopping
Yoga gives us a wonderful environment in which to practise this.
Sometimes strength absolutely means staying with a challenging posture.
We discover that we are capable of more than we thought.
We build physical strength, confidence and resilience.
But there is another lesson which can be considerably harder:
Knowing when enough is enough.
Sometimes the strongest choice available is Child’s Pose.
Sometimes it’s changing the posture.
Sometimes it’s choosing Yin instead of Yang.
Sometimes it’s taking a slower breath.
Sometimes it’s Yoga Nidra.
Sometimes it’s cancelling something.
Sometimes it’s asking for help.
And sometimes it’s simply saying:
“Not today.”
That isn’t weakness.
It is awareness.
And when you have spent years measuring your worth through achievement, learning to respect your capacity can be a profound form of self-study.
The breath: a bridge between body and mind
This is also why breathwork forms such an important part of what I teach.
Breathing is fascinating because it happens automatically, yet we can also consciously influence it.
Our breathing patterns can change with emotion and stress, and deliberately changing how we breathe can, in turn, influence aspects of our physiological state.
Sometimes we need energising practices.
Sometimes we need calming ones.
Sometimes the most appropriate intervention is simply becoming aware of the breath without trying to change anything at all.
The important part is learning that more intense isn’t automatically more therapeutic.
At Serenity Studio, breathwork is therefore not about pushing everybody through the same dramatic technique.
It is about understanding what we are trying to achieve and choosing practices appropriately.
Rest is part of the practice
This may be one of the hardest lessons for high achievers.
Rest is not what happens when all the work has been completed.
Because there will always be more work.
There will always be another email.
Another job.
Another person who needs something.
Another target.
Another load of washing!
If rest only becomes permissible once everything else is finished, we may never genuinely rest.
This is one reason I love Yoga Nidra, meditation and restorative practices.
They deliberately create space where doing is no longer the objective.
You don’t have to perform.
You don’t have to achieve.
You don’t even have to be particularly “good” at relaxing.
You simply practise allowing the body and mind an opportunity to settle.
The Serenity Reset isn’t about becoming calm all the time
I think this distinction is important.
The goal isn’t to walk around permanently serene.
Life isn’t like that.
We need activation.
We need excitement.
We need challenges.
We need adrenaline.
We need ambition.
Sometimes we need our fire.
The aim is not to eliminate stress.
It is to develop greater flexibility.
Can we mobilise when something requires action — and then recover afterwards?
Can we experience challenge without remaining stuck in it?
Can we recognise the early signs that we’re exceeding our capacity?
Can we give ourselves what we need before our body has to shout louder?
This is where movement, breathwork, meditation, Yoga Nidra, sleep, nutrition, connection, boundaries and nervous-system education can begin to complement one another.
There isn’t one magic exercise.
There isn’t one magic yoga pose.
There isn’t one perfect breath.
It is the bigger picture that matters.
And what about fibromyalgia?
This conversation is particularly important to me because of my own history with fibromyalgia.
People living with fibromyalgia can experience very real pain, fatigue, sleep disturbance, cognitive difficulties and numerous other symptoms.
It should never be reduced to somebody simply needing to “relax” or think positively.
But growing research into pain neuroscience, sleep, stress physiology and nervous-system processing has given us much more sophisticated ways of thinking about persistent symptoms.
For me, understanding the nervous system became one important piece of a much larger recovery puzzle.
So did sleep.
Nutrition.
Appropriate movement.
Breathing.
Connection.
Changing beliefs and behaviours that were keeping me permanently pushing.
And, crucially, learning to respect my capacity rather than repeatedly crashing through it.
Those experiences eventually became The Serenity Reset and later The Serenity Kitchen – Nourishing the Nervous System.
Success should include having a life you can actually enjoy
And perhaps this brings me back to that photograph with Mike.
Two authors.
Two very different books.
A magazine.
Business.
Yoga.
Leadership.
And one surprisingly connected conversation.
What does success actually mean?
Surely it can’t simply mean achieving more while becoming progressively too exhausted to enjoy what we’ve achieved.
Perhaps success also means having enough energy left for the people we love.
Sleeping.
Laughing.
Moving our bodies because it feels good.
Eating food that nourishes us.
Connecting with other people.
Being present.
Taking a breath without simultaneously thinking about the next six things on our list.
And sometimes doing absolutely nothing without feeling the need to justify it.
That doesn’t mean abandoning ambition.
Quite the opposite.
We don’t need to extinguish our fire.
We can be passionate.
Creative.
Driven.
Strong.
Successful.
Adventurous.
And ambitious.
But perhaps yoga teaches us that strength and softness don’t have to be opposites.
Effort and ease can coexist.
Action and rest can coexist.
Ambition and wellbeing can coexist.
The real skill is learning when we need each one.
Keep your fire. Just don’t let it consume you.
That is a lesson I wish I’d understood much earlier.
And it is one of the reasons the work we do at Serenity Studio goes beyond simply teaching yoga poses.
Through yoga, breathwork, meditation, Yoga Nidra, therapeutic movement, connection, relaxation and nervous-system education, I want people to develop a greater understanding of themselves.
To notice sooner.
To listen more closely.
To recognise their own capacity.
To become strong without constantly fighting their bodies.
And to discover that rest doesn’t have to be earned.
Because perhaps balance isn’t about dividing every day perfectly between work and relaxation.
Perhaps it is something much more human:
Knowing yourself well enough to recognise what you need — and giving yourself permission to respond.
That, to me, is yoga.
And that is Serenity. 🌿
Discover Serenity Studio
If you’d like to explore yoga as more than simply exercise, our classes combine movement with breathwork, relaxation and nervous-system awareness, with options for different bodies, abilities and stages of life.
Serenity Studio
4 High Street, Knighton
You can also discover more about my approach in The Serenity Reset and The Serenity Kitchen – Nourishing the Nervous System. Finsd both books on Amazon
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